Technique
The author states that, “Christians sometimes have problems with the very idea of technique…in which the acquisition and use of skills in the development of one’s gifts plays a dominant part” (Adams, J.E., 1973, p.98).
He cautions counselors and provides support with biblical examples of Paul and scripture from Ephesians when requests have been made for help from the Holy Spirit to complete their task at hand. He further states that the second a counselor opens their mouth, technique is being used. It could be unconscious and undeveloped, but it, whatever it is, is being used.
This makes me think of the scripture that talks about opening your mouth so that the Lord can fill it. We also had this debate recently about worship practice that it should be worship free flowing from the Lord, but in contrast we came up with scriptures in Psalms that instructed us to use ourselves skillfully for the Lord. When I have time, I’ll come back to this blog and site the scriptures and add more….
Adams, J.E. (1973). The Christian Counselor’s Manual. p. 98-99. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan.
Monday, October 6, 2008
The Christian Counselor's Manual Chapter 10
Presuppositions and Methodology
In this chapter the overall premise is that the word of God is better than any form of psychology or psychoanalysis. I would have to agree that the Lord is bigger than anything else out there and the best comforter is truly the Holy Spirit.
The author sites an example of a man with “mental illness” that had been going to a secular therapist for two years and experienced zero changes in his illness. After a lengthy conversation devaluing worldly counseling the author summarizes, “Your problem, then, must be the result of some unknown nonorganic cause affecting a nonorganic part of you that has caused a mysterious nonorganic illness.” At which time the client told the author that he was right. The author concludes that the client was practicing blind faith in the expert (therapist) that had given him a psychiatric label, relieving him of responsibility and allowing him to believe that he could make no changes in his sickness, of which a minister or pastor could not understand according to this man (Adams, J.E., 1973, p.80).
It was surprising that the author stated about Dobson’s approach to change, that it is, “cold and godless.” He continues that it is, “centered on manipulation but says nothing of biblical confrontation” (Adams, J.E., 1973, p.82).
He continues to complain about Skinner’s non-standard approach with his comment that, “Christians alone can say what a man should be, for they alone have that standard in God’s written and living Word” (Adams, J.E., 1973, p. 84).
His complaint about Rogerianism is that he believes that, “man is good, not evil.” Which in turn leaves God, Christians and scriptures, un-needed (Adams, J.E., 1973, p. 84-86). At this point, I begin to disagree slightly with the author. In my experience the reverse thought that man is evil and not good, could be detrimental to the way that we view people in sessions, their motives and abilities to change. If we can see that yes truly people do sin, but the desire to do good is prevalent in most people. No one wants to sin, but because of habits, tendencies, the lust of the flesh and giving into desires that temporarily satisfy, they do. When a person truly comes to the saving knowledge of the Lord on the cross, His sacrifice of love and mercy, that person is a person that wants to do good, but because of whatever habits have been formed from circumstances that guided the person, they continue to sin. As counselors, we must keep in mind that the person is in your office for a reason. They’re seeking help and that should be commended.
this blog is not complete, but will be continued...
Adams, J.E. (1973). The Christian Counselor’s Manual. p. 71-97. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan.
In this chapter the overall premise is that the word of God is better than any form of psychology or psychoanalysis. I would have to agree that the Lord is bigger than anything else out there and the best comforter is truly the Holy Spirit.
The author sites an example of a man with “mental illness” that had been going to a secular therapist for two years and experienced zero changes in his illness. After a lengthy conversation devaluing worldly counseling the author summarizes, “Your problem, then, must be the result of some unknown nonorganic cause affecting a nonorganic part of you that has caused a mysterious nonorganic illness.” At which time the client told the author that he was right. The author concludes that the client was practicing blind faith in the expert (therapist) that had given him a psychiatric label, relieving him of responsibility and allowing him to believe that he could make no changes in his sickness, of which a minister or pastor could not understand according to this man (Adams, J.E., 1973, p.80).
It was surprising that the author stated about Dobson’s approach to change, that it is, “cold and godless.” He continues that it is, “centered on manipulation but says nothing of biblical confrontation” (Adams, J.E., 1973, p.82).
He continues to complain about Skinner’s non-standard approach with his comment that, “Christians alone can say what a man should be, for they alone have that standard in God’s written and living Word” (Adams, J.E., 1973, p. 84).
His complaint about Rogerianism is that he believes that, “man is good, not evil.” Which in turn leaves God, Christians and scriptures, un-needed (Adams, J.E., 1973, p. 84-86). At this point, I begin to disagree slightly with the author. In my experience the reverse thought that man is evil and not good, could be detrimental to the way that we view people in sessions, their motives and abilities to change. If we can see that yes truly people do sin, but the desire to do good is prevalent in most people. No one wants to sin, but because of habits, tendencies, the lust of the flesh and giving into desires that temporarily satisfy, they do. When a person truly comes to the saving knowledge of the Lord on the cross, His sacrifice of love and mercy, that person is a person that wants to do good, but because of whatever habits have been formed from circumstances that guided the person, they continue to sin. As counselors, we must keep in mind that the person is in your office for a reason. They’re seeking help and that should be commended.
this blog is not complete, but will be continued...
Adams, J.E. (1973). The Christian Counselor’s Manual. p. 71-97. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Leadership Coaching - Ch 1
Summary
Most people sign up for coaching to get help from experts so that they can achieve goals that they have a hard time accomplishing on their own. (Stoltzfus, p.6) That's what coaches do, they're "change experts." How do you help a person change? A big part of help a person change is just showing that you believe in them. You see them for who they were made to be, and love them for who they are. (Stoltzfus, p.8)
Note: An important tool for prepping for a coaching session is reviewing notes from the previous session.
Coaching is client-centered, meaning the client sets the agenda. They decide what goals they want to achieve, and they define the action items. It is the coach's job to ask the right questions to help them discover for themselves what those action items are, and to keep them accountable by following up with them on their progress. The premise behind this is that people retain information better if it is self-discovered, rather than taught.
Often the clients being coached need that motivation to "buy into" their discoveries however. Coaches come alongside to encourage, equip, support, and provide accountability. One way to do this is every time the client states an action step they would like to commit to, the coach makes "a note of it and then asks for a progress report on that step the next time they meet."(Stoltzfus, p. 13) Keep in mind that "Being motivated to make a change is more important than knowing what change to make."(Stoltzfus, p. 16)
Personal reflection
The statements about change sound so true. I remember when my father quit smoking a few years back--he had been smoking a few packs a day for 30 years. He always felt that he should quit, that it was unhealthy for him, but he never wanted it badly enough. One day, he went to the doctor for a checkup and the doctor said that his lungs were "making music," meaning they sounded bad. Shortly after that, my father was determined to change in order to live a longer and healthier life. As soon as he felt that determination, he quit cold turkey.
We can help people discover this sort of determination in themselves just by asking questions. Lots of people really don't live by what they really value. If you value long life and health and you're smoking two packs of cigarettes a day, deep down you feel conflicted and dissatisfied. Or if you're working as a mechanic when you've always wanted to be a teacher, there's an untapped potential there that needs to be encouraged.
I'm encouraged by reading this chapter, and I hope to just get better at asking good questions.
Scripture
Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Philippians 2:3-4 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Stoltzfus, Tony. 2005. Leadership Coaching: The Disciplines, Skills and Heart of a Christian Coach. Tony Stoltzfus: Virginia Beach, VA
Most people sign up for coaching to get help from experts so that they can achieve goals that they have a hard time accomplishing on their own. (Stoltzfus, p.6) That's what coaches do, they're "change experts." How do you help a person change? A big part of help a person change is just showing that you believe in them. You see them for who they were made to be, and love them for who they are. (Stoltzfus, p.8)
Note: An important tool for prepping for a coaching session is reviewing notes from the previous session.
Coaching is client-centered, meaning the client sets the agenda. They decide what goals they want to achieve, and they define the action items. It is the coach's job to ask the right questions to help them discover for themselves what those action items are, and to keep them accountable by following up with them on their progress. The premise behind this is that people retain information better if it is self-discovered, rather than taught.
Often the clients being coached need that motivation to "buy into" their discoveries however. Coaches come alongside to encourage, equip, support, and provide accountability. One way to do this is every time the client states an action step they would like to commit to, the coach makes "a note of it and then asks for a progress report on that step the next time they meet."(Stoltzfus, p. 13) Keep in mind that "Being motivated to make a change is more important than knowing what change to make."(Stoltzfus, p. 16)
Personal reflection
The statements about change sound so true. I remember when my father quit smoking a few years back--he had been smoking a few packs a day for 30 years. He always felt that he should quit, that it was unhealthy for him, but he never wanted it badly enough. One day, he went to the doctor for a checkup and the doctor said that his lungs were "making music," meaning they sounded bad. Shortly after that, my father was determined to change in order to live a longer and healthier life. As soon as he felt that determination, he quit cold turkey.
We can help people discover this sort of determination in themselves just by asking questions. Lots of people really don't live by what they really value. If you value long life and health and you're smoking two packs of cigarettes a day, deep down you feel conflicted and dissatisfied. Or if you're working as a mechanic when you've always wanted to be a teacher, there's an untapped potential there that needs to be encouraged.
I'm encouraged by reading this chapter, and I hope to just get better at asking good questions.
Scripture
Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Philippians 2:3-4 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Stoltzfus, Tony. 2005. Leadership Coaching: The Disciplines, Skills and Heart of a Christian Coach. Tony Stoltzfus: Virginia Beach, VA
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Leadership Coaching - Ch 0 (Introduction)
Summary
A newer concept of ministry leadership is emerging, that of "influencing and empowering rather than ordering--working together with others instead of telling them what to do or simply doing the work yourself."(Stoltzfus, vii) The idea that Stoltzfus tries to get across is the effective ministry leadership means being a good coach.
The underlying context of coaching(Stoltzfus, ix): its client-centered, relationship-based and goal driven.
The four key skill areas in the coaching conversation:
1) listening
2) asking
3) acting
4) supporting
And all this of course should incorporate not only book learning but actual practice, since "only practice and feedback provide the confidence most of us need to apply it in real life."(Stoltzfus, ix)
Personal reflection
I want to practice coaching on my friends, if they are willing. It doesn't have to be formal coaching, but I would like to get better at encouraging others to know and do the will of God. That would be so cool :) I'd like to ask better questions too, I am looking forward to using the examples this book has.
Scripture
God provides more leaders to lessen the burdens of one leader
Numbers 11:10-17 10 Moses heard the people of every family wailing, each at the entrance to his tent. The LORD became exceedingly angry, and Moses was troubled. 11 He asked the LORD, "Why have you brought this trouble on your servant? What have I done to displease you that you put the burden of all these people on me? 12 Did I conceive all these people? Did I give them birth? Why do you tell me to carry them in my arms, as a nurse carries an infant, to the land you promised on oath to their forefathers? 13 Where can I get meat for all these people? They keep wailing to me, 'Give us meat to eat!' 14 I cannot carry all these people by myself; the burden is too heavy for me. 15 If this is how you are going to treat me, put me to death right now—if I have found favor in your eyes—and do not let me face my own ruin."
16 The LORD said to Moses: "Bring me seventy of Israel's elders who are known to you as leaders and officials among the people. Have them come to the Tent of Meeting, that they may stand there with you. 17 I will come down and speak with you there, and I will take of the Spirit that is on you and put the Spirit on them. They will help you carry the burden of the people so that you will not have to carry it alone.
Stoltzfus, Tony. 2005. Leadership Coaching: The Disciplines, Skills and Heart of a Christian Coach. Tony Stoltzfus: Virginia Beach, VA
A newer concept of ministry leadership is emerging, that of "influencing and empowering rather than ordering--working together with others instead of telling them what to do or simply doing the work yourself."(Stoltzfus, vii) The idea that Stoltzfus tries to get across is the effective ministry leadership means being a good coach.
The underlying context of coaching(Stoltzfus, ix): its client-centered, relationship-based and goal driven.
The four key skill areas in the coaching conversation:
1) listening
2) asking
3) acting
4) supporting
And all this of course should incorporate not only book learning but actual practice, since "only practice and feedback provide the confidence most of us need to apply it in real life."(Stoltzfus, ix)
Personal reflection
I want to practice coaching on my friends, if they are willing. It doesn't have to be formal coaching, but I would like to get better at encouraging others to know and do the will of God. That would be so cool :) I'd like to ask better questions too, I am looking forward to using the examples this book has.
Scripture
God provides more leaders to lessen the burdens of one leader
Numbers 11:10-17 10 Moses heard the people of every family wailing, each at the entrance to his tent. The LORD became exceedingly angry, and Moses was troubled. 11 He asked the LORD, "Why have you brought this trouble on your servant? What have I done to displease you that you put the burden of all these people on me? 12 Did I conceive all these people? Did I give them birth? Why do you tell me to carry them in my arms, as a nurse carries an infant, to the land you promised on oath to their forefathers? 13 Where can I get meat for all these people? They keep wailing to me, 'Give us meat to eat!' 14 I cannot carry all these people by myself; the burden is too heavy for me. 15 If this is how you are going to treat me, put me to death right now—if I have found favor in your eyes—and do not let me face my own ruin."
16 The LORD said to Moses: "Bring me seventy of Israel's elders who are known to you as leaders and officials among the people. Have them come to the Tent of Meeting, that they may stand there with you. 17 I will come down and speak with you there, and I will take of the Spirit that is on you and put the Spirit on them. They will help you carry the burden of the people so that you will not have to carry it alone.
Stoltzfus, Tony. 2005. Leadership Coaching: The Disciplines, Skills and Heart of a Christian Coach. Tony Stoltzfus: Virginia Beach, VA
Monday, September 1, 2008
The Christian Counselor's Manual CH 9
Reconciliation
As we learned in Chapter 8 to address inter-personal problems up front, this chapter supports this behavior by stating that “Brooding is a violation of the promise made in granting forgiveness” (Adams, J.E., 1973, p. 65).
I’ve heard it said that when we have unforgiveness in our hearts this leads to depression, which is supported in earlier chapters. The author conveys the essence of forgiveness in that “Biblical forgiveness also involves the promise to avoid holding the offense over the offender’s head, the promise to tell no one else about it, and the promise not to dwell on it oneself” (Adams, J.E., 1973, p. 67). If we could practice this as counselors how much more effective would we be? And then as brothers and sisters in Christ, this forgiveness is very freeing! The reason it would be so freeing is because “...the root of the problem: [is] disobedience” (Adams, J.E., 1973, p. 70). Disobedience is not truth and being obedient to the truth will set us free!
Adams, J.E. (1973). The Christian Counselor’s Manual. p. 63-70. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan.
Blue letter bible. (2008). Spurgeon Commentaries. Retrieved September 1, 2008, from http://blueletterbible.org
Scriptures for further study:
Jam 3:13-18 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.
2Cr 3:17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.
As we learned in Chapter 8 to address inter-personal problems up front, this chapter supports this behavior by stating that “Brooding is a violation of the promise made in granting forgiveness” (Adams, J.E., 1973, p. 65).
I’ve heard it said that when we have unforgiveness in our hearts this leads to depression, which is supported in earlier chapters. The author conveys the essence of forgiveness in that “Biblical forgiveness also involves the promise to avoid holding the offense over the offender’s head, the promise to tell no one else about it, and the promise not to dwell on it oneself” (Adams, J.E., 1973, p. 67). If we could practice this as counselors how much more effective would we be? And then as brothers and sisters in Christ, this forgiveness is very freeing! The reason it would be so freeing is because “...the root of the problem: [is] disobedience” (Adams, J.E., 1973, p. 70). Disobedience is not truth and being obedient to the truth will set us free!
Adams, J.E. (1973). The Christian Counselor’s Manual. p. 63-70. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan.
Blue letter bible. (2008). Spurgeon Commentaries. Retrieved September 1, 2008, from http://blueletterbible.org
Scriptures for further study:
Jam 3:13-18 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.
2Cr 3:17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.
The Christian Counselor's Manual CH 8
Reconcililiation/Discipline Dynamic
When we have things that are not reconciled within us then it’s difficult to become disciplined in Christ, because of the, “Loose ends [that] are those inter-personal problems between Christians that remain unresolved” (Adams, J.E., 1973, p. 52). These unresolved issues need to be confronted at their first start, which might be difficult to do with a counselee that is not practiced. The counselor could first start by taking some of the easier examples of these challenges in the person’s life and begin to practice confronting them with God’s word. In this case it is very important for the counselor to, “Instead of … mild, oblique approaches, … learn, in such cases, to be irenically direct” (Adams, J.E., 1973, p. 59). Dictionary.com defines Irenical as, “tending to promote peace or reconciliation.” Scripture tells that if we keep our mind on Him, He will keep us in perfect peace. We are to excersize His top commandment of love, as we use God’s word with the counselee and peace WILL come.
Adams, J.E. (1973). The Christian Counselor’s Manual. p. 52-62. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan.
American Psychological Association (APA): Dictionary.com. Unabridged (v 1.1). Retrieved September 1, 2008, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/
Blue letter bible. (2008). Spurgeon Commentaries. Retrieved September 1, 2008, from http://blueletterbible.org
Scriptures for further study:
Matthew 18:15-20 “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16 But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector. “I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. “Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.”
Isa 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.
Jhn 15:12-13 This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
When we have things that are not reconciled within us then it’s difficult to become disciplined in Christ, because of the, “Loose ends [that] are those inter-personal problems between Christians that remain unresolved” (Adams, J.E., 1973, p. 52). These unresolved issues need to be confronted at their first start, which might be difficult to do with a counselee that is not practiced. The counselor could first start by taking some of the easier examples of these challenges in the person’s life and begin to practice confronting them with God’s word. In this case it is very important for the counselor to, “Instead of … mild, oblique approaches, … learn, in such cases, to be irenically direct” (Adams, J.E., 1973, p. 59). Dictionary.com defines Irenical as, “tending to promote peace or reconciliation.” Scripture tells that if we keep our mind on Him, He will keep us in perfect peace. We are to excersize His top commandment of love, as we use God’s word with the counselee and peace WILL come.
Adams, J.E. (1973). The Christian Counselor’s Manual. p. 52-62. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan.
American Psychological Association (APA): Dictionary.com. Unabridged (v 1.1). Retrieved September 1, 2008, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/
Blue letter bible. (2008). Spurgeon Commentaries. Retrieved September 1, 2008, from http://blueletterbible.org
Scriptures for further study:
Matthew 18:15-20 “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16 But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector. “I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. “Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.”
Isa 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.
Jhn 15:12-13 This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
The Christian Counselor's Manual CH 7
Prayer: The Base for Christian Counseling
The author states that prayer is our basis for counseling. Of course the Lord’s directives in prayer are foundational to all that we do, say and think. We must be careful in all that we do, say and think…to act wise rather than unwise (Eph 5). The author comments that “When prayer grows out of and becomes a part of intelligent thought, both its content and fervency are likely to be greater” (Adams, J.E., 1973, p. 49). I have a friend that is a great logical thinker. Her prayers have tremendous power due to their focus. The prayers of a righteous man availeth much!
When counseling and praying there are some dangers to avoid that might stem from anxious praying of which we should be anxious for nothing, but give it up to the Lord with thanksgiving. Also, at times people can be led to pray, to sit at Jesus’ feet like Mary and not act like Martha. One way to look at the Mary vs. Martha contrast is to have the perception that Mary was a person of much action after she sat at Jesus’ feet and Martha was a person of great anxiety, always preparing and making things just so, without regard to much prayer. If this perception is correct, these two personalities are great example of what the author states about inactive prayer that “Instead it is ora et labora, “pray and work” (Adams, J.E., 1973, p. 51). We can learn a lot about prayer through Mary, in that we should sit in quiet confidence and listen to the Lord, especially when we’re feeling anxious like Martha might have been. Once we’ve heard from the Lord, we should act in faith and not be double minded about what He’s showing us to do.
Overall the main points from the author in this chapter are to beware that a counselor should not encourage faith without works or works without faith and should avoid common pitfalls of prayer in counseling that include:
1. depending on prayer alone when the Scriptures direct additional action;
2. turning prayer into a self-pity session.
(Adams, J.E., 1973, p. 50)
Ok, this was a lot to get out of a chapter that was 2.25 pages long!
Adams, J.E. (1973). The Christian Counselor’s Manual. p. 49-51. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan.
Scriptures for further Study:
Jam 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
Phl 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Luk 10:39 -42 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.[fn6] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
James 2:26 As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.
James 4 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely? But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:
“God opposes the proud
but gives grace to the humble.”
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you–who are you to judge your neighbor? Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.
Blue letter bible. (2008). Spurgeon Commentaries. Retrieved August 30, 2008, from http://blueletterbible.org
The author states that prayer is our basis for counseling. Of course the Lord’s directives in prayer are foundational to all that we do, say and think. We must be careful in all that we do, say and think…to act wise rather than unwise (Eph 5). The author comments that “When prayer grows out of and becomes a part of intelligent thought, both its content and fervency are likely to be greater” (Adams, J.E., 1973, p. 49). I have a friend that is a great logical thinker. Her prayers have tremendous power due to their focus. The prayers of a righteous man availeth much!
When counseling and praying there are some dangers to avoid that might stem from anxious praying of which we should be anxious for nothing, but give it up to the Lord with thanksgiving. Also, at times people can be led to pray, to sit at Jesus’ feet like Mary and not act like Martha. One way to look at the Mary vs. Martha contrast is to have the perception that Mary was a person of much action after she sat at Jesus’ feet and Martha was a person of great anxiety, always preparing and making things just so, without regard to much prayer. If this perception is correct, these two personalities are great example of what the author states about inactive prayer that “Instead it is ora et labora, “pray and work” (Adams, J.E., 1973, p. 51). We can learn a lot about prayer through Mary, in that we should sit in quiet confidence and listen to the Lord, especially when we’re feeling anxious like Martha might have been. Once we’ve heard from the Lord, we should act in faith and not be double minded about what He’s showing us to do.
Overall the main points from the author in this chapter are to beware that a counselor should not encourage faith without works or works without faith and should avoid common pitfalls of prayer in counseling that include:
1. depending on prayer alone when the Scriptures direct additional action;
2. turning prayer into a self-pity session.
(Adams, J.E., 1973, p. 50)
Ok, this was a lot to get out of a chapter that was 2.25 pages long!
Adams, J.E. (1973). The Christian Counselor’s Manual. p. 49-51. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan.
Scriptures for further Study:
Jam 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
Phl 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Luk 10:39 -42 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.[fn6] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
James 2:26 As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.
James 4 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely? But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:
“God opposes the proud
but gives grace to the humble.”
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you–who are you to judge your neighbor? Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.
Blue letter bible. (2008). Spurgeon Commentaries. Retrieved August 30, 2008, from http://blueletterbible.org
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