Coaching 101 - Ch 2

This chapter is on relating. Coaching is a relationship in which you listen, offer support and encouragement. Its not about setting your own agenda, but letting the person you are coaching set it. Sometimes you will be able to draw out of them new and fresh solutions to solving a problem, or other times you will just confirm for them what they've had on their hearts.

One of the ways to do this is to develop the art of listening. Listening is defined here as "to capture what the other person is saying, and to do that without interpreting, evaluating or guiding them in a particular direction." (1, p.34) Ok, I have trouble with all of those :) When I listen I often try to interpret what a person is saying and I often get that wrong. And also I like to give advice, which is apparently also not the way to go.

Also another good thing is to be clear about what you're trying to accomplish, and to agree upon those goals.

This is a hard chapter for me. I need help with this one! Like I said above, I have a hard time not giving out advice, and getting frustrated when people don't listen. That's because I'm not really listening to them the way they want to be listened to though. I'm listening with an agenda--solving problems my way.

Here are the cardinal rules for listening (1, p.35-36):
*) Focus - don't let your mind wander and give the other person your undivided attention

*) Summarize - Reflect back what you heard the other person saying, without interpreting, evaluating, or projecting feelings on the person's statements. (1, p.35)

*) Invite - invite a person to share more than they are, they are used to talking to people with short attention spans

*) Unpack - Draw out as much as you can from the other person before sharing about yourself.

*) Clarify - Make sure you have an understanding of what was said by asking questions

(1) Logan, Robert. E & Sherilyn Carlton. Coaching 101: Discover the Power of Coaching. ChurchSmart Resources. 2003.