Coaching 101 - Ch 7

Summary

Its important to set the expectations and define the coaching relationship right away. Verbalize or provide written information such as a syllabus that details the initial plan for

1) How long the coaching will last: Once you get to your set "end date," you can re-evaluate where you are and the progress that has been made, and decide whether or not to continue meeting.

2) How often to meet: since people don't always know when they need you its, best to meet regularly and determine how often that should be. Meeting once or twice a month might be a good idea, or more frequently if working on something critical or urgent, "but weekly meetings shouldn't be the norm. "(1, p.97) 30-45 minutes is usually sufficient to cover everything, an hour at most, but no longer. Any longer and people get worn out. Whatever time interval you choose, "be clear about when the session will end."(1, p. 97)

3) Any other expectations: what you expect from the person you're coaching, what they should expect of you, including your availability via email or phone calls. You want to make sure the person you are coaching does not depend on you for making decisions and accomplishing goals, that's the sign of an unhealthy coaching relationship. It needs to be clear from the outset that THEY are the ones that need to do all the work, otherwise they can't expect to grow and change. Coaching is to empower others to learn to do these things for themselves, and they must be things that they really want to do. In keeping with this, one should create a coaching agreement that is in written form that is tailored to the issue or goal being worked on. Keep in mind the three rules of coaching: (1, p.101)

1. The person being coached does the work.

2. The person being coached does the work.

3. The person being coached does the work.

4) Accountability: It helps to write down the goals that one wants to accomplish on paper, such as on a form. Having that structure outlined in black and white helps motivate a person towards making progress, because its measurable. There are online tools available as well, (some ideas are available on http://www.coachnet.org/) that make it easier for coaches to "streamline" the information discussed or agreed upon in a coaching session. The person being coached can create a coaching log, and set their agenda on there for both themselves and the coach.

5) Confidentiality: It goes without saying that "coaches often find themselves in positions of trust."(1, p.99) Breaking that confidentiality is no different than gossip, and can hurt the person's "ministry, career, family, and reputation."(1, p.100)

Inevitably when dealing with people, some form of conflict may arise between the coach and the person they are coaching. To keep the coaching relationship working and focused, the conflict should be addressed right away.

At times a big issue in the life of the person being coached may come up. If the coach hears something from the person they're coaching and has a sense that this issue needs to be dealt with first, they should recommend the person get counseling. A coach can help a person facing bigger issues simply by helping them stay accountable in settings goals to get the help they need. Clear-cut issues that should be dealt with by counselors include: depression, eating disorders, mental illness, addictions, abuse, affairs. These issues are beyond the kind of help you can give as a coach.

Personal reflection

Reading this coaching book is really helping ME. The teacher of my Coaching 101 class told us as much. He said, "Half this class will be about you." This coaching book is really helping me coach myself. I am lacking in the areas of structure and discipline for example, and tend to just "go with the flow" and get lost in the busyness of daily life. In doing this, I am in effect cheating myself of setting goals and working towards them, and consequently maybe cheating myself of growth and the ability to do more for the Lord. Heaven forbid! The last thing I want to do is stagnate because I'm not taking the time to think things through and reaching for higher ground.

Scripture
On making plans
Proberbs 12:5 The plans of the righteous are just, but the advice of the wicked is deceitful.

Proverbs 15:22 22 Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.

Proverbs 16:3 Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.

Proverbs 16:9 In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.

Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.

Proverbs 20:18 Make plans by seeking advice; if you wage war, obtain guidance.

Isaiah 32:8 But the noble man makes noble plans, and by noble deeds he stands.

The danger of planning things without the Lord and putting your hope in people
Isaiah 29:15 Woe to those who go to great depths to hide their plans from the LORD, who do their work in darkness and think, "Who sees us? Who will know?"

Isaiah 20:1-3 "Woe to the obstinate children," declares the LORD, "to those who carry out plans that are not mine, forming an alliance, but not by my Spirit, heaping sin upon sin;
2 who go down to Egypt without consulting me; who look for help to Pharaoh's protection, to Egypt's shade for refuge.
3 But Pharaoh's protection will be to your shame, Egypt's shade will bring you disgrace.

James 4:13-17 13Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." 14Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." 16As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. 17Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.

The Lord's plans for us bigger and greater than we can even imagine
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
(1) Logan, Robert E. & Carlton, Sherilyn. 2003. Coaching 101: Discover the Power of Coaching. ChurchSmart Resources