Competent to Counsel - Ch 4

Summary
This chapter defines the term "nouthetic confrontation" as "confrontation with the principles and practices of the Scriptures, "(1, p.51) and presents it as "peculiarly the work of the ministry."(1, p.42) Nouthetic finds its root in the word nouthesis, which has no one word to define it, and therefore has been transliterated to replace "admonish", "warn", "teach", "put sense into" and "counsel" in Jay Adams' book. (1, p.42)

The three main points of nouthetic counseling or confrontation are (1, p.45):
1) To effect personality and behavioral change because there is something in the counselee's life that is wrong that God wants changed and dealth with.
2) To confront verbally through conference and discussion(counseling) with the aim of guiding the counselee to conform more closely to biblical principles and practices. Also with the focus being more on what the issue is rather than why, why is easy enough without making excuses: our sin nature.
3) Meeting obstacles head on and overcoming them verbally in order to help the counselee. The motive being love and not punishment.

So to really boil it down, nouthetic confrontation aims at restoring a believer in love and in truth so that they can stop sinful behavior patterns and be reconciled to God.

A nouthetic counselor can fail by becoming sypathetic towards excuses and not holding them responsible for their behavior, by not digging deep to the heart issue of a matter and just looking at the outward performance, by getting too emotionally involved and allowing feelings to govern actions. (1, p.59)

"The relationship between God and Adam had been established on the basis of God's Word, broken by Satan's challenge to that Word, and had to be reestablished by God's Word." (1, p. 55-56)

Personal reflection
I am not a very confrontational person, this is not a strength of mine. But we all need to be able to confront a believer who is sinning with the truth, out of love for their soul. Being filled with the goodness from God, and the wisdom from above which is pure and peaceable, and the knowledge of the Word, we need to be able to do these things. As the author was saying, which is more loving? To sympathize with someone who is hurting himself or others and enable them? No, rather its to come alongside and empathize by telling the truth, helping the counselee face up to his sin, and encouraging him to make the necessary changes to make things right. (p, 58)

Scripture
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Romans 15:14 I myself an convinced, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, complete in knowledge and competent to instruct one another. (Adams here replaces "competent to instruct one another" with "competent to confront one another nouthetically.")

1 Corinthians 4:20-21 20For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power. 21What do you prefer? Shall I come to you with a whip, or in love and with a gentle spirit?

Ephesians 4:15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.

Galatians 5:13 You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature ; rather, serve one another in love.

Colossians 1:28 We proclaim him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ. (Adams here replaces "admonishing" with "confronting every man nouthetically.")

Colossians 3:16 Let the word of Christ dwell in your richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom..." (Adams here replaces the word "admonish" with "nouthetically confront.")

Adams, J.E. (1970). Competent to Counsel. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan.